Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sabeenisms
Ever wondered how some people are good at juggling words and phrases…..and in such a way that…. it upsets the meaning of the original word/phrase...many a times it sounds very tickling…. what do you call them?......... and...
.what do you call that?....... I call these ‘Sabeenisms’,….. explained later….
For example…… a boy scout was fired for ‘fighting a liar in the quadrangle’(he was probably ‘lighting a fire’).
And this one….one of the British prime ministers was addressing his war soldiers as ‘ tonnes of oils’…(sons of soils ..?).
My friend Bunty finds amusing whenever his mom complains of…. “machchi makhkhar” that have started breeding around Shahdra in Delhi(she hates ‘makhkhi machchar’ (flies n mosquitoes) in the house ).
Few argued that these are Freudian slips, viz slips of the tongue, slips of the pen…and that it’s the unconscious that slips out through them….but there are cases which are otherwise…few people do it purposefully and for fun….trust me…….!
I’d have loved to call this phenomena as spoonerism….instead of .. ‘sabeenism’….had it not been for Sabeen who is really skilled at juggling….mixing,,,,prefixing,,,,,and suffixing and giving whole new meaning to words and phrases……and guess wot?........his ‘dead pan delivery’ makes it deadlier.
I read to him “ Clothes maketh the man”….but got back………
‘ man maketh the clothes’ …………..who can disagree!......
Actually it started much earlier…..he’s been misreading (deliberately, but i discovered much later)all those signboards and hoardings since childhood…to both my horror and amusement …..
Here are the few best ones from him that I can recall….…
‘blue fart’…. for fastest and reliable delivery…..he claims….!
‘No one wants to work on a PC these days……. everyone wants a ‘c..ck top’
“ chehre par manchaahe baal ?” use hair removing cream….
“ jai maa murgesh” ….
Look at this one…. ISBT…..? ….‘ antar-jaatiya bus adda’…buses available for all communities,
Ever relished ‘ makke di roti…..parso da saag’ ? ..difficult...
Try this….name a big B superhit movie from his youth…with rakhi..
.what?...sorry…..
It’s……… ‘muh udhar kar sikander’….
Ok try an aamir khan hit….wrong again……
.its ‘dil hai ke maan jaata hai’……
Lets see if you can get this one right…..
Whats e.t… ? ‘extra t..ticle’…..and you thought its something to do with space only?…..
……that’s all I have for today….share few similar instances if u have….and i promise to look out for more and post it soon……this time i'll be quicker........till then..ta..ta……
relish'n'refresh...................
( sabeen works as a software engineer for a mnc in Mumbai)
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Bollywood Songs in relish'n'refresh
About Maar diya jaaye.....This melodious Lata song from superhit "Mera gaon mera desh" ...was a big hit in the 70s & 80s(thats when i heard n remember it).....the punch of this song is the typical climax song of a hindi movie, spicy n dancy.....when our heroes and the heroines are in the baddy's(hunky vinod khanna...isn't he looking sexy???? ) den....captured, chained and bruised,..u can see the tension all over..... incidently, the dancer is unknown one with amazing performance.......... what i like most is the intensity of the song.... clues the dancer is dropping here n there for the hero(see that macho dharam?)....oh yes...dharam has also shown his comedian capabilities in this film after which ''Sholay'' happened for him(similar role??).....watch out for the lyrics.." kaanch ki chudiyan bhi maine khankayee...apni zulfe bhi toh maine lehrayee....tujhko zanzeerein hi lekin pasand aayeen............kaid kiya jaaye, ki chhod diya jaaye...bol tere saath kya saluk kiya jaaye.......to view song ..look at right and click on the number...relish 'n' refresh.......
About Hamei aur jeene ki..... Rajesh Khanna towards the fag end of his Romantic image( Big B has already established the angry rebel hero era)....yet he has a sizeable fan following( todays grandparents types)...Rekha is in demand and at her peak of everything( with that famous linkage with Big b already in place)..and Kishore simply ruling the playback industry.....a must in any film to succeed...listen to that deep masculine melodious voice soaked in some melancholia.......simply penetrates heart and soul....relish 'n' refresh
About Hamei aur jeene ki..... Rajesh Khanna towards the fag end of his Romantic image( Big B has already established the angry rebel hero era)....yet he has a sizeable fan following( todays grandparents types)...Rekha is in demand and at her peak of everything( with that famous linkage with Big b already in place)..and Kishore simply ruling the playback industry.....a must in any film to succeed...listen to that deep masculine melodious voice soaked in some melancholia.......simply penetrates heart and soul....relish 'n' refresh
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Friday, February 9, 2007
Arjun's Wallet
I'm not blaming Arjun for his frequent forgetting skills ......for which Sujit Sir and I've been pestering him always, but how a small silly forgetting thing can almost screw you up for the day.
One fine morning in doon......during the school vacations....when we woke up from previous night's tandoori chicken and beer at rajpur road...woke up to hot tea and newspaper...it was supposed to be the start of a jhakkaas day...only till when Arjun realised that his wallet is missing....
I felt the chill(whats the day is going to possibly look like).....especially when he gives that blank slate kindova look that he has...recomposed myself and asked him to chill....relaxxxx....kuch nahi....etc....we ransacked the whole room topsy-turvy.....found many things(some of them very valuable) under the bed and elsewhere in bargain......
No wallet...........
Next was my car....which got some dusting (not that i don't do it otherwise) and spanking of footmats on the electricity pole......everything came out .....old Rafi cassettte(i was searching for it)....chicken bones...beer caps....pen caps....and that 'chalan' handed over by traffic havildar which i'd forgotten....
No wallet.....
Arjun had started giving me those looks.....(its because of you kind).....
I maintained composure......and thought of Hitchcock, Karamchand n Feluda instantly...
"Lets reconstruct the whole story" I said....
"We were standing at the open stall......having ordered 1 'full tandoori'?
'right' said Arjun.
"You were getting it packed and I came and sat in the car?"
hmmmm..
"Then you came with the packed tandoori in one hand...and wallet in the other?"
"No it was cell phone in the other hand"...Arjun pitched
fine...fine....so the wallet was in your pocket?
" i don't remember" said Arjun...
"Yes....it was...." I barked
"And then you were counting the balance he returned and were saying that he's charged more than others?"
I reminded him........and he nodded in agreement...
He nodded but wasn't very sure...
"lets go to him and find out' I ordered....
We were there in 20 minutes( from GMS road to Rajpur Road is quite a distance).
Straightaway we charged towards trhe stall and met this big heavy man with a ruthless kind of a look who simply denied having found or having heard about any wallet or anything.
"We want to talk to the person who was here last night" I demanded.
That big man had a big mouth that resembled the exhaust of an old truck out of which he blasted some irritating and stupid arguments which basically meant that there's no use talking to his brother also when he himself has told the truth....this was followed by a stare that perhaps meant .....'don't mess with me".
But before disappearing I managed to extract his brother's mobile no. who plainly denied haveen found , seen or heard about any wallet.
We were returning....(wot else?)....Arjun started looking like Guru Dutt in Kagaz ke Phool....
I came out with motivating stories.....
stories of how I lost my watches, suitcases and sunglasses in journies...and that loosing wallet is a part of one's life....
Arjun was not motivated...and instead gave me another look that read....... 50 % you'll pay boss!!!!!"
I shivered again and calculated......My share had to be Rs 2000/-( That included the cost of the old purse....and unused BSNL recharge coupons....that he claimed and I trusted he had).
We ransacked the house once again ....
.and I found my lost photograph this time..
No wallet.....
After that once again.....
We were getting tense now.....
Suddenly an idea flashed....
I frisked arjun....
No wallet....
"The wallet has to be with the tandooriwalla' I concluded.
"Lets call police" said Arjun..
"No we'll use pressure tactics" I said.
" I'll give a call now, then you after half hour than other people and so on..." i smirked.
I called him up and told him to return the wallet at any cost.
(but he became angry that he doesn't have and demanded why we were calling him repeatedly)
" Don't worry!!!!!this will work" I winked .
Because I had to meet my sister that morning so I told Arjun that i'd to leave and that he could stayback in the house or I could drop him anywhere on my way...........he chose the second option.....
I also suggested that he take my sister's cell no( my cell was dead since last night)....just in case....
I fumbled my back pocket for a paper chit and took out the purse.....
And then both of us screamed...................WAALLLETTTT......!!!!!!!!!!'
"O MY GOD.......I YELLED...HOW DID THIS HAPPEN....???????
Arjun gave me that look.........
One fine morning in doon......during the school vacations....when we woke up from previous night's tandoori chicken and beer at rajpur road...woke up to hot tea and newspaper...it was supposed to be the start of a jhakkaas day...only till when Arjun realised that his wallet is missing....
I felt the chill(whats the day is going to possibly look like).....especially when he gives that blank slate kindova look that he has...recomposed myself and asked him to chill....relaxxxx....kuch nahi....etc....we ransacked the whole room topsy-turvy.....found many things(some of them very valuable) under the bed and elsewhere in bargain......
No wallet...........
Next was my car....which got some dusting (not that i don't do it otherwise) and spanking of footmats on the electricity pole......everything came out .....old Rafi cassettte(i was searching for it)....chicken bones...beer caps....pen caps....and that 'chalan' handed over by traffic havildar which i'd forgotten....
No wallet.....
Arjun had started giving me those looks.....(its because of you kind).....
I maintained composure......and thought of Hitchcock, Karamchand n Feluda instantly...
"Lets reconstruct the whole story" I said....
"We were standing at the open stall......having ordered 1 'full tandoori'?
'right' said Arjun.
"You were getting it packed and I came and sat in the car?"
hmmmm..
"Then you came with the packed tandoori in one hand...and wallet in the other?"
"No it was cell phone in the other hand"...Arjun pitched
fine...fine....so the wallet was in your pocket?
" i don't remember" said Arjun...
"Yes....it was...." I barked
"And then you were counting the balance he returned and were saying that he's charged more than others?"
I reminded him........and he nodded in agreement...
He nodded but wasn't very sure...
"lets go to him and find out' I ordered....
We were there in 20 minutes( from GMS road to Rajpur Road is quite a distance).
Straightaway we charged towards trhe stall and met this big heavy man with a ruthless kind of a look who simply denied having found or having heard about any wallet or anything.
"We want to talk to the person who was here last night" I demanded.
That big man had a big mouth that resembled the exhaust of an old truck out of which he blasted some irritating and stupid arguments which basically meant that there's no use talking to his brother also when he himself has told the truth....this was followed by a stare that perhaps meant .....'don't mess with me".
But before disappearing I managed to extract his brother's mobile no. who plainly denied haveen found , seen or heard about any wallet.
We were returning....(wot else?)....Arjun started looking like Guru Dutt in Kagaz ke Phool....
I came out with motivating stories.....
stories of how I lost my watches, suitcases and sunglasses in journies...and that loosing wallet is a part of one's life....
Arjun was not motivated...and instead gave me another look that read....... 50 % you'll pay boss!!!!!"
I shivered again and calculated......My share had to be Rs 2000/-( That included the cost of the old purse....and unused BSNL recharge coupons....that he claimed and I trusted he had).
We ransacked the house once again ....
.and I found my lost photograph this time..
No wallet.....
After that once again.....
We were getting tense now.....
Suddenly an idea flashed....
I frisked arjun....
No wallet....
"The wallet has to be with the tandooriwalla' I concluded.
"Lets call police" said Arjun..
"No we'll use pressure tactics" I said.
" I'll give a call now, then you after half hour than other people and so on..." i smirked.
I called him up and told him to return the wallet at any cost.
(but he became angry that he doesn't have and demanded why we were calling him repeatedly)
" Don't worry!!!!!this will work" I winked .
Because I had to meet my sister that morning so I told Arjun that i'd to leave and that he could stayback in the house or I could drop him anywhere on my way...........he chose the second option.....
I also suggested that he take my sister's cell no( my cell was dead since last night)....just in case....
I fumbled my back pocket for a paper chit and took out the purse.....
And then both of us screamed...................WAALLLETTTT......!!!!!!!!!!'
"O MY GOD.......I YELLED...HOW DID THIS HAPPEN....???????
Arjun gave me that look.........
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